12 12 2008

  I should blog here more often.  I really like how it looks on this page.  I think that may be part of the reason I do not blog here.  I have OCD traits or something.  I want it to stay looking neat and tidy in here.

  What I should really do is work on not starting every sentence with the word I.  Lately, I have been thinking a lot about different aspects of my life and realizing that things as they have been the past 10 or so years might not be the way I really want them.  Maybe all of this crap I have been doing to ensure that certain things in my life stay a certain way, is detrimental to my future.  Some of these things include saying I never want to have more children or get married.  I am not saying I have re-evaluated such things completely but I am saying that I should just not be so insistant on them.  Who knows?  Honestly, and in all actuality, I really might end up getting convinced by someone extra special to have another child or marry him.  What I really mean, I suppose, is that I am going to start keeping my options completely open to change because whatever it is I’ve been doing has not ultimately led to happiness.  Actually, quite the opposite.  Maybe I brainwashed myself into thinking that is how I wanted things to be, and now it’s not what I want.  
  In conclusion… I move on toward growth, change, and something new and ultimately, something better.  Someone special.  🙂  That sounds much better to me.
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