20 01 2009

So, I recenly became suspicious that someone who pretends to be cool with me might be hooking up with my recent ex.  I’m not sure how everyone else feels about it, but I feel like she is breaking some sort of girl code.  I’m sure I’m not the only one who would feel this way.  I like how the people who know, said nothing to me about it.  I like how when I asked him directly, he neither confirmed nor denied it, when in all other cases, he has denied hooking up with new people yet.  I can’t tell if I am more mad that I think he deserves better that a slut who does coke, or that he couldn’t be a man, have respect for me the friend he pretty much forced me to to be (I didn’t want to stay friends at first, he pretty much made me), or that she just added me on facebook LAST week, knowing that she was interested in him.  WTF kind of fucked up logic does this girl have?  I know her story, she is a dirty cokehead who can’t seem to talk about anything but herself and her parties she goes to.  To me, bragging that you do coke is like being proud to have AIDS.  

Anyway, I promised myself I wouldn’t be angry about this anymore, and I really wish I could hold to that but for some reason I feel SUCH betrayal that I really can’t let it go. I really don’t have a 100% sure answer yet, either but I saw some shit that is suggestive enough for me to feel like I was lied to.  Oh well… I am not perfect, either. In fact, I might be worse… 
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