What I Want. Plus Some Stuff About Jillian Michaels.

17 02 2010

I have goals.  I have certain goals I am working toward which are why I am so crazy about my Insanity Workout.  Most of those goals have to do with the way I feel or have felt (in the past year or so) about myself, my body, the way I think in regards to how I feel and look, etc.  It is not so much that I am insecure about the way I look.  I am actually really comfortable about the way I look most of the time.  It’s the way my clothes fit, and the fact that I have to pay so much more for a bra because I wear a G-cup, and the fact that said bras have 4 hook and eye closures and a damn-near-1″ shoulder strap.  There is nothing cute about that, AND there are dents on my shoulders from them that have been there since I was 140lbs and a DD cup. And I look at them and think about how awesome it was when I was 115lbs and a D cup.  Ahhh those were the days!  Now, at this point, I’m less concerned about my weight and more in tune with both my physical size and the size of the clothes I fit into.  While I’m not insecure about those sizes currently, I also don’t feel the need to share because I, frankly, am saving that for the day I am proud to share what size I am.  When I fit into my size 7 jeans that I love more than any item of clothing I own, I will share.  Or when I can fit my boobs into a shirt that’s not stretchy, or a shirt that’s not XXL to accommodate my boobs but is HUGE on my waist. But anyway, all of that aside, my goals may seem funny or weird, but here they are, here is what I want:

-Smaller Bra (and for it to fit)
-More muscle tone in my entire legs (top to bottom)
-Flatter stomach (Who doesn’t want this?)
-Thinner, but still an hourglass shape
-To be able to fit into a “regular” sports bra and for it to be supportive and constricting like it should be (One that I can buy at Target or Wal-Mart, not one that costs $60.00 because it’s made for a G-cup but still doesn’t come high enough to cover my entire chest, thus preventing “bounce” hehe)
-Be more flexible (I have always been flexible, even to this day, but having less fat PLUS the yoga PLUS the Insanity Workout will allow for even more flexibility)
-Thinner face (I feel like I have chubby cheeks even when I’m thin, but it gets worse when I gain weight)

I could probably sit here all day and think up things I would love to have that will come with the change in my size/weight, but in reality, the biggest change that I am expecting is to FEEL better about myself, thus cancelling out half or more of my current qualms that are based solely around the frustrations in day-to-day life because of how I feel about my size.  Some days I would just write it off to basically “missing” how it feels to be a skinny person.  BUT I don’t just want to be “skinny” I want to be healthy, fit, slender, have muscle tone, and be limber, flexible, be able to wear whatever I want within reason, and be happy with myself.  These are all such important goals to me, that I have found it really simple to stick to my daily workout, and I was actually kind of scared that I won’t have Insanity at Joe’s this weekend but I compromised and decided to workout in his gym room by running on the treadmill Saturday morning while he works on his car.  At least that way I’m not totally taking a day off!  ALSO, I think I may have found a running partner… but we’ll see how that works out.

Ok, onto the Jillian Michaels portion of this blog. I’m kind of over it already so I’m gonna make it short and sweet, so here goes. To preface, I get “Losing It With Jillian Michaels” emails and today I clicked on one about whether you should eat prior to or after a workout.  From this Q & A, I clicked on another and read it.  Here it is: http://www.everydayhealth.com/fitness-specialist/obese-how-to-get-started-with-exercise.aspx

Now, while I DO agree with the motivational portions of Jillian’s answer, I do not think she really gave many options to the asker.  My first thought was “If I were 500lbs, I don’t think I’d be comfortable swimming in a public pool”.  This might just be MY fear, but I don’t even like the idea of being in public in a bathing suit right now, and I am around 1/3 that weight. I do, however, give mad props (yeah I just said that) to anyone trying to get in shape, be healthy, and be physically fit…no matter what size you currently are.  My gripe is that there are SOOOO many options for a person weighing 500lbs, to get fit and healthy without leaving the house, and that they might feel more inclined to do in their spare time.  Jillian mentioned none of these.  Of course, I realize she was trying to offer suggestions for the gym, but I still feel like she could have done better.  I was disappointed because I usually love and agree with most of the things Jillian says and does, and her methods.  For someone in her line of work, used to working with obese people to get them healthy and fit, I thought she could have brought more to the table.  That’s all.

Alright, time to get ready and go to the store, then workout, do laundry, clean, etc.  




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