Weight Loss and Injuries

17 06 2010

I have been frustrated, no, angry increasingly more lately because I was on a good road before I hurt my arm.  At the time of injury I had been working out for two weeks and eating better and had been seeing results in the form of inches lost. There was a significant change after just those two weeks. Now that I can’t support my weight on my arm, or straighten it, I am very limited as to what I can do to maintain muscle tone, general fitness, and certainly can’t do much in the way of weight loss.

I haven’t gained any weight. I have lost a few (five) pounds but I FEEL like I have gained even though I haven’t. The thought that even though I want to workout, I can’t do so, really gets to me. I hate not having control over myself, my life, my fitness level and other aspects of my current situation. If I weren’t me, I’d tell me to just get over it and be strong and deal with it, but I am being a huge pessimist instead. The desire to have my life the way I want it is so strong it’s unbearable that I can’t just have it my way. Call me a control freak, I don’t care. I like things to go my way. Who doesn’t? Name me one person who lives to have their life controlled by others and I will let you call me a liar, but I can’t think of any self-respecting person who doesn’t wish their life to be how they imagine it.

My solution to the inability to do most exercises is to limit my diet. I have been eating smaller portions and I’m gradually cutting out meat. Cutting out meat is more for that healthy feeling than weight loss, but it will probably contribute to a certain amount of weight loss just because the fat content in my diet will be lower. I feel healthiest, most energetic and all-over better when I don’t eat meat. Actually, I was telling Joe how when I was Vegan, I felt the best. I felt the most healthy I’ve felt in my life, I have also felt less “heavy”. By heavy I am referring more to the feel of my body than my actual weight but I WAS 40 lbs. lighter then, too.

I know exactly where my weight gain is from. It’s from all the delicious meals I ate when I lived in Orange County. I was probably trying to eat away the relationship I was so unhappy in but let’s just say it was that weight you gain when you get comfortable in a relationship. I don’t really buy that though. It’s also from years of drinking every weekend. I don’t do that now. I’d like to change my current drink of choice to something healthier, too. Joe and I currently drink Cuervo and some sort of cola. I’d like to switch to Gin & Tonics or at least something with less sugar. But back to weight gain… it’s also from Applebee’s. Screw you, you local temptation. It’s not that they have especially awesome food but who can deny a 2 for $20? I mean, honestly, it’s cheap as hell, right? They’re problem is that there is only one “healthy” option in that deal, and then you add an appetizer, and sometimes an irresistible dessert? It’s calorie city. It’s like I’m BEGGING to be fat. I know exactly what I’m doing to myself but I’m defenseless against it somehow.

I’d almost rather just not eat than have that full feeling, and it doesn’t help that I am not leading an active lifestyle here. Especially during the summer, it’s difficult to go out and do things when it’s 100°+ outside. A determined person would walk outside to the pool, lookin’ all fat, and say “F it, I’m gonna just swim” but I can’t even get THAT far. I need motivation. I can’t place it but it’s just not in my mind to put on an ill-fitting swim top (38G, remember?) and go swimming alone…or with my daughter who wants to spend every second splashing me. The entire idea just gives me a nice fat anxiety attack. Fat. hehe

Trying to think of ways to “con” myself into doing things that I CAN physically do that I will be able to do once I have surgery (read other than swimming), I think to myself “What do I LOVE, or even LIKE to do?” I love to go to Disneyland from open to close and just walk around, go on rides, and be distracted by the entire experience. I love that so much, I’d do it 2 or 3 times a week. In fact, I used to and I was 30 lbs thinner then, too. The other thing I love to do? Write, browse the web all day, sleep, cook, work. Do you see my roadblock here? Yeah. No wonder I’m not 5’6″ 120 (not that I WANT to be… cuz it’s all about the curves). I  am content at 5’6″ 140-160. That is where I look best. Keep in mind that I hold about 10 lbs up top if ya know what I mean. hehe

SO, I’m starting off today with some cereal. Next time I grocery shop, I hope to buy some healthier options. Maybe I’ll manage to get in some exercise…maybe I’ll run on the treadmill at Joe’s, who knows (yeah, yeah, I’m a poet). In the meantime, I’m watching one my all-time favorite shows, The Twilight Zone. Time for breffies!



14 06 2010

Today I had plans to clean, which I have started but not finished. I also wanted to work. I have not. My computer is being a complete f-tard, pardon my language. You can imagine my frustration. I type in my work address and get the “This webpage is not available” message. As a matter of fact, as I’m typing this, I am planning to save it in Word before I even try to publish it for fear that it will just be deleted as it was only by some freak accident (not to mention more than 30 minutes) that I was even able to nav to this page in the first place. And I’m done venting about this once-useful, now completely burdensome box of anti-productivity that sits below my desk. I might be using it as a means to de-stress… if I can get a netbook. HOWEVER, not being able to work is going to keep me from making money, thus interfering with my plans.

Last weekend was relaxing as anticipated. I have to get one thing out of the way before I say more, the last half of Sunday was NOT fun for various reasons I am not going to go into. SO… Friday I had a tasty dinner, hung out with Joe and Matt and drank some Cuervo Black and RC Cola. That was a really good combo, delicious! I could do that every Friday… fun stuff! Saturday we did a whole lot of maxin’, relaxin’, catchin’ up on enjoying the weekend. We hung out with a different Matt for a while and saw his new house. I didn’t want to go because I was all relaxed and settled but I’m glad I did. It’s always nice to get out of the house. I love doing that. 🙂 Sunday was a Sunday. We went to Joe’s mom’s so he could get paid, then out to lunch and back home. Later I had to go pick up Maya who was the worst-behaved person EVAR. She tends to be that way when she gets spoiled at her dad’s house. It takes every bone in my body to even allow her to see him. It is really not good for her and it’s even worse that we have to deal with the monster she becomes. She is noticeably worse when my mom is around. Go figure.

So here is Monday, I had every intention of being productive but have not been able to. I am really annoyed at this entire situation as you know… too bad I can’t work on my phone. 😉 Here’s hoping this week improves. hehe


11 06 2010

I got it! I am posting from it using my Blogger-droid app. I love it. I have to seriously monitor my usage to make sure i’m not neglecting my loved ones.

Published with Blogger-droid

One Year

7 06 2010

Joe has been awesome for an entire year. Even in his grouchy moments and in mine, he is still rad. With that said, our anniversary was yesterday. We are officially celebrating next weekend but he got me my gift yesterday. I’ll talk too much about it later…

Next weekend we had planned to go to Disneyland and possibly Blue Bayou for dinner but might have changed our minds. At this point there are technically no official plans other than to relax the entire weekend. I love that plan. I need some relax, and who better to do it with? Like time with Joe always is, the weekend will be great no matter what we do.

As for today and the week leading up to next weekend, I have some things to do, but nothing much. Today I go to the ortho to find out when I am scheduled for surgery. Then I go from there. I am not yet sure if I will be going to physical therapy again until after surgery. I will find that out today, too. As for the rest of the week, I have some assignments to complete. I need motivation. Major espresso. Tomorrow I have coffee with a friend and will likely stay over there until 3:00PM like I normally do when we have coffee.

I am hoping I can have surgery next week so that I am home for a week before my mom and Maya go to visit my grandma for a week. That extra week will give me time to adjust and get used to what I can and cannot do with my freshly operated on arm. hehe I will need to stock up on some easy to open foods for the week nobody will be around to help me. I take that back, kind of. Joe will be around to help me but he works all day so he will only be around after work. I will probably do a lot of working with one hand and playing with my anniversary gift also mostly one-handed.

Ok…now I will share what my totally tubular gift is. lol I am really excited about it and had planned to buy it for myself until he said he was going to buy it. The Sprint HTC EVO 4G! We ordered it online last night so I have to wait but I LOVE getting prezzies in the mail so I’m totally content to wait. The anticipation is going to murder me! I can’t wait to hold it and spend the entire day playing with it, learning it’s ways, loving it like it’s my newest child. LOL I am pretty crazy when it comes to how much I love gadgets, I know. I predict pure awesome elation.

More Questions

3 06 2010

Is your best friend in love with someone?

Don’t tell me lies, so where’s your man?
He is either at work or getting off work.

Who was the last person you had a conversation with on the phone?
I don’t remember. I don’t talk on the phone much.

Have you faced any of your fears lately?
Yes, every time I let someone drive me somewhere. lol

Do you have to plug your nose while swimming under water?
No. I breathe water.

Do your computer speakers work?

Where would you rather live, England or Australia?

Do you want someone dead?
No thanks.

Do any of your ex’s miss you?
I hope not cuz I don’t miss them.

Would you rather go to Africa or Paris for two weeks?

Have you ever kissed someone who was drunk?

Is there a song that you hate yet know all the words to?
Yes. I know the words to most songs I’ve heard. That is just how I’m wired.

Would you ever want to ride in a hot air balloon?
Not really. I’m not afraid or anything, it just isn’t my style.

If you were born a day later, would you be born in a new month/year?
No. If I was born 2 days later, I would have though.

Have you ever tried to sell your Halloween candy?
No. Do people do that? I put mine in pancakes!

Did you ever have a lemonade stand when you were a kid?
Nope, but I had a Kool-Aid stand. lol

Would you live with someone with out marrying them?
Yes, of course. It’s a great way to learn how someone acts when you’re not around…if you have to live together forever, why not try it out first?

Have you ever made out with someone you weren’t dating?

Is silence really golden?

Do you drink enough water?

How do you usually wear your hair?
In a ponytail because I am tying to grow it long long and I don’t want to be tempted to cut it. lol

Have you ever talked to someone when they were high?

How do you spell your name?

What are you going to do after this?
Finish making dinner.

I bet your going to kiss someone tomorrow, right?

Would you rather go back a week or forward?
Right now, forward.

Did you have a good birthday this year?
I haven’t had my birthday this year.

Did you kiss or hug anyone today?

Do you know anyone that smokes pot?
Hmm…not off the top of my head, no. But I’m sure I do.

Who’s the last person that came to your house?

Do you like rain?
Sure do!

The last time you kissed someone, were your hands around their neck?

Did your last kiss take place on a bed?

Was your last text message from a girl or boy?

What are you doing this weekend?
Maya’s birthday party is on Saturday! YAY!

Are you dating the last person you texted?

Last picture comment was from?
I have no idea.

You’re single, why?
Actually you’re wrong, I’m not single.

Pick a word that starts with the first letter of you first name?

How many alarm clocks do you use?
Just one.

Have you ever been out of the country?

Where would you travel to if you could hop on a plane right now?

Are you a morning person or a night person?

Have you ever been too scared to make the first move?

Have you ever been called a tease?

Are you allergic to anything?
Yes. Adhesives, and the desert.

Which is better: sugar or honey?

Would you ever go sky diving?
Maybe but again, not really my style.

Do you prefer gum or mints?

Cameras or video cameras?
They each have their own purpose. Both.

Can you type fast?
Pretty fast, yeah.

Pens or pencils?

Blue or black ink?

Do you enjoy sushi (with or without the raw fish)?

Why is the ocean blue?
There is some scientific explanation…

Who really invented the internet?
Someone who was really into spiders.

Which movie(s) do you prefer: Lord of the Rings, or Harry Potter?
Neither, thanks.

Do you prefer the Jetson’s or the Flintstones?

The Simpson’s or Family Guy?
The Simpsons. The Family Guy is just a bunch of immature jokes without substance.

Full House or Family Matters?
Full House, but I used to watch both.

Have you ever played Texas Hold’em?

Did you get a text yesterday that made you smile?
I always do.

Has anyone told you they don’t wanna ever lose you?
Yes. I was like “I promised never to misplace myself, k?” lol jk

What’s wrong with you right now?
Nothing, I’m good.

Do you truly hate anyone?
No. I don’t waste my time hatin’

Has someone ever made you a promise & broke it?

Would you share your drink with a stranger?
God no.

What are you listening to?
15 Most Unthinkable Crimes (that I’ve seen twice)

Did you like anyone last summer?
Yes, and I still do.

Last person you talked to on the phone?
I don’t remember.

Last person to comment you?

What color are your eyes?
Blue grayish

When will your next kiss be?

When’s your birthday?
December 30th

Last person to text you last night?

What are you doing tomorrow?
Physical therapy, cleaning

Would you ever get a tattoo?

Will tomorrow be good?

Are you afraid of losing the last person you talked to?
No, I’m pretty organized.

Is anything bothering you?
Yes. There is a fly in my room. WTF?!

When was the last time you sincerely liked someone a lot?

Whats your favorite alcoholic drink?
This week it’s Pimm’s & Lemonade

Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?

Think back to the last person you kissed, how many times have you cried in front of them?

Whats the last thing you have eaten?
Blackened chicken alfredo and fire roasted veggies

Is there a person that you can go to in sweats, hair a mess, and still feel comfortable?

Have you ever thought about killing someone in detail?

What do you have pierced on you?
A few things…

Do you blow dry your hair?
When I style it, yes.

Can you see a stuffed animal from where you’re sitting?

Has a good friendship ended recently that you wish had not?

How old will you be in 4 years?

Do you like being home alone?
Yes. I love it!

Does it bother you when people spell/type your name incorrectly?
Nah I’m used to it. hehe

Is there anyone you trust who you shouldn’t?
Not that I know of…but there could be I guess.

Have you ever cried over a text?

Will you be in a relationship in the next month?
I plan to, yes. 🙂

Do you have anything that belongs to a partner or an ex partner?
Exes, no. I pulled and Eternal Sunshine and threw away EVERYTHING from the last almost 10 years. I don’t have any use for it. I don’t think I have anything of my bf, either.

Do you argue with people often?
Whenever I get the chance. Not in a mean way though… more of a debate type way. I like to challenge people’s opinions.

What would you say if someone told you they were in love with your brother?
I’m not sure how I would respond. I guess that’s good… it’s not really my business though. haha

Have you hugged anyone in the past 72 hours?

Does it bother you when you text somebody and they take forever to respond?
Kind of, yeah… I do everything with the quickness so I like other people to do the same. I’m not impatient I just don’t like to waste my life taking my time is all. 😉

Who did you spend at least two hours with today?
My cat.

Have you ever fallen asleep texting someone?

Have you ever lost a close friend?
Technically no. I have lost friends that once were close but we were barely friends when we stopped being friends.

Do you act differently around the person you like?
Not really. I mean different people bring out different personality traits of mine but they are all mine still.

Birthday Party

2 06 2010

I am in the final phases of planning Maya’s birthday party. I have purchased all the decorations and extras I need such as the punch bowl and ladle, the pool toys and more. I am prepping all and making most of the food on Friday. I am making an ice cream cake. I am making punch using Shasta’s Tiki Punch with Schwan’s Golden Fruit Blend in it. There will be some refreshing Pimm’s lemonade for the adults…special thanks to my friend Renee for introducing me to this awesome drink AND bringing me a bottle of Pimm’s from England. AWESOME!

I just finished my grocery list and will be picking up the food tomorrow. In case you’re wondering, yes I am one of those party Nazis who needs everything to be almost done the day before the party. Besides, I don’t want to spend all of my daughter’s 10th birthday party running around like a headless chicken trying to make sure everything is perfect. Admittedly, I probably will regardless of what’s done or not done. That is my anxiety talking. I always feel like something isn’t done or is missing when there is a party. I feel like something is wrong if I’m not busy-busy. I would be a great event planner. Everything would be extremely prepared with a confetti chad out of place.

Maya’s party is a Luau themed pool party at which we are serving Mexican food. Does it make sense? Kind of… does it work? DEFINITELY. Will it be tasty? OF COURSE! We will have carne asada tacos with all the proper fixin’s plus quesadillas for the kids. There will be homemade beans and rice, and chips and salsa. We will have a tropical fruit bar and of course, there will be ice cream cake, and root beer float popsicles, plus I am going have a little candy bar. I bought a variety of candy which I will put on a little table in glass margarita glasses (if that makes sense hehe)

The ice cream cake is going to be a strawberry cake with Schwan’s Passion Punch Sherbet. It will be frosted first with Cool Whip, then blue frosting on 2/3 to represent water and Sugar in the Raw on the other 1/3 for the “sand”. There will be tropical decorations such as mini umbrellas and a Littlest Pet Shop sea turtle, fish, and more. It will be VERY cute, I imagine. I’d like to decorate the sides in some colorful way, too. I thought about using Swedish Fish and blue/green gummy worms horizontally as the water…we’ll see.

Until Saturday, I have work and cleaning to do. Fun stuff!

You asked…I answered.

2 06 2010

1. Ways to win your heart? – Love me when I challenge your opinion, appreciate me when I’m nice to you, and never question my intentions because even when they don’t seem like it they are ALWAYS good.

2. Do you like lightning? – It’s not one of my favorite things, but I don’t dislike it.

3. Have you ever cut someone else’s hair? – Yes. I have cut MANY people’s hair, including my own. I cut my boyfriend’s hair about every 2 weeks.

4. Last person you said ‘I hate you’ to? – I never say it in a mean way but I say it jokingly to people I love a lot. I can’t remember the last person though.

5. Rain or sunshine? – I love rain, but a sunshiney day is great too.

6. Last stupid thing you said to anyone? – Oh… I say a lot of stupid things. In my defense, they are usually backed by something very smart.

7. Biggest turn off? – Stupid people. As humans, we should strive to be smarter than we are, no matter how smart we get.

8. Favorite movie? – I don’t play favorites, but I especially love anything from the 30’s-60’s in black and white.

9. Would you date someone who smokes? I have in the past, but now I don’t.

10. Would you date someone who was addicted to drugs? – NO. A big, fat, no. I can’t stand druggies. Recreational or habitual, it’s all drugs to me.

11. What’s your biggest turn on, physically? – It depends…for me, I prefer when someone isn’t too fat or skinny and is proportionate.

12. Have you ever missed someone and regretted breaking up with them? – I have missed exes for a short time but I never regretted us breaking up. It’s actually always been for the best…and I’m a MUCH better person now because of it.

13. Have you ever dated someone more than once? – Yes. I don’t really believe in that, either. I don’t think I’ll do it again. If we can’t work out our problems once, then why would I think I could work them out the next time? It’s better to move on to someone better for me. (Which I did)

14. If you could go on ONE DATE with any celebrity, who would it be? – Johnny Depp. I don’t think he’s hot, but I want to see what a weirdo he is. I bet he’s got some crazy things to talk about.

15. What’s your relationship status? – Happily taken. 😉

16. Do you like cuddling? – Sometimes. If it’s not too hot, or I’m not trying to sleep…

17. Do you hold grudges? – I try not to. There are some unforgivable actions that I just can’t understand, therefore, can’t get past. I don’t dwell on it, but if it’s brought up, yeah…I forgive but I don’t forget.

18. Do you regret dating anyone? – No, but I sometimes wonder how different my life would be had I chosen a different path. In the end, I am very happy with my life now so it all worked out.

19. Hugger or kisser? – Both. Why is this even a question? Who doesn’t like both?

20. Missing someone? – Nobody I can’t ever see again.

21. Most important lesson you’ve learned from your exes? – It only takes a week for someone to go from awesome to asshole. And as a note, never let anyone treat you like any less than royalty. There is just no excuse for that.

22. Some random girl comes up to you and says “who the hell are you”? What do you say back? – Eval.

23. Are you spoiled? – Sometimes. 😉

24. Last person to see you cry? – Joe. The last time I cried was when I hurt my arm. I was pretty pathetic…and pretty hurt.

25. Are you a forgiving person? – If your actions are of the forgivable sort, yes.

26. I’ve come to realize the last person who gave me a hug… – is my favorite girl EVER.

27. Are most of your friends guys or girls? – It’s about half and half.

28. How long does it take you to get ready to go out? – And hour or so.

29. How many people do you know of named Adam? – Maybe one.

30. What was the last thing you burnt? – My leg on the BBQ lid that someone put on the ground.

31. What is your full name? – I’m not telling, but my initials are VSH.

32. Did you ever spend all day/night getting pretty for a guy? – Technically, no. But I have spent a lot of the day doing mani, pedi, facials, hair, makeup and shopping for a new outfit, yes. I like doing that kinda thing. I like to look good for the boy.

33. Did you ever cry during a romantic movie? – Not that I remember but probably.

34. Are you a girly-girl, tomboy, or in the middle? – Really girly when I want to be, but I can relate to guys better than girls sometimes.

35. Is pink truly the best color in the entire universe? – No.

36. What’s the most expensive piece of clothing you own? I own nothing expensive. That’s just not how I shop. I don’t like things for longer than a few months so it makes no sense to buy expensive clothes.

37. Have you set your hair on fire? – NO. God that would suck.

38. Have you ever ran into a door because you didn’t see it? – I’ve actually walked through a screen door once.

39. Ever made a prank phone call? – Yes, tons! When I was younger it was a favorite of mine and my friends.

40. What did you want to be when you were growing up? – Journalist. Hairstylist.

41. When did you first start feeling older? – Like 2  years ago when I looked at some teenager’s pants and was like “eww those aren’t even cool” lol 

42. Favorite guilty pleasure? – Day drinking. Although I rarely ever do it, I did it today with a friend and it was great. It’s a nice thing and come to think of it, I really don’t feel guilty drinking.

43. What famous person(s) would you like to have dinner with? – Miss Manners. She is famous, right? I bet she could pick my table manners apart like I like to do to others. I would respect her for it. Hey, we’re not perfect, right?

44. What famous person would you like to date? – I have a boyfriend I’m pretty fond of, actually.

45. Do you use smiley faces on the computer a lot? – Oui. 😉

46. Is it easier to forgive, or to forget? – Forgiveness is easy, but I almost never forget.

47. Is your best friend pretty? – Of course. I don’t hang out with anybody who looks like a fool. hehe

48. Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle? – Oh yeah…all the time. By all the time, I mean, like, once every month or two. hehe

49. Can you make yourself cry? – Yes, but I don’t.

50. Is your life simple or complicated? – It’s more complicated than I’d like but someday it will be simpler. Maybe simpler isn’t the word I want to use. I think easier better explains it.

51. Are you easily confused? – Not unless I’m talking to someone who genuinely makes little sense. I can even make sense out of ignorance at times but it’s tiring.

52. Does everything really happen for a reason? No, but I could be wrong. To me, it’s whether or not it happened at all that counts. Not why or how.